I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
