Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends