Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones