Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
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my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
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I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.