don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
