porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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