there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
