By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
