pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
