I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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