bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
