1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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