flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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