I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
