oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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