im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
