morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
There's a naked man in my car right now.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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