very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
