just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
