im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
