I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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