evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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