how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You need a sexual gate keeper
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
