You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
