I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
