I'm pants shitting drunk right now
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Drake has all the answers
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
