i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
