just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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