GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
