Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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