Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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