she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize