Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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