Got a toothbrush?
you traded sex for a burrito?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize