epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
how drunk are you?
Several
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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