all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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