I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
