I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Im part way to drunk.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
