There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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