Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
