i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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