What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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