what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
