she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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