i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
