We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
