I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
