then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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