You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
