Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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