lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
