Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
