yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Randomize
