He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
