I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize