He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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