There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
