there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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