i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
porn star boner night. come get it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
