Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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