I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
