the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I could make wine with my vomit
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Are my feet made of real feet?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
