It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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