absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i think my tv is drunk
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
